Loneliness Kills
by MentallyDatingGrayFullbuster
Summary: Same shit. Different day. An endless cycle... and there's no room to feel sorry for myself. /AU, NatsuXErza fanfiction. Extended genres, include: Romance, and/or Drama. Enjoy.


**A/N:** Okay... so this is another NatsuXErza story. If this is your first time clicking on it, I wish you happy reading! But, if you've seen the first attempt, you would realize I changed it a bit. Nothing big, but you might want to read it over. Anyway, in all honesty, I've never come across a story like this before. I thought this could be original... but then again, I don't know if there is one like this out there that I have just never come across or what, but this specific piece of work came from my own mind.

Also, I think you'll feel more of the story if you listen to some of the songs off the Bleach anime soundtrack. You can search it up on YouTube, by typing in 'Bleach best sad songs (Soundtracks)'. There's a mix of all four specific songs by 'GCgame'. It also helps if you read slower than normal.

_'IMPORTANT'_

_..._

This is rated T for minor swearing. It's also AU, and contains lots of OCC'ness. Please bear with me on that. Also, this contains scenes of loneliness and depression. Although this is just a story, it's only fair to say you could be affected if you are lonely or depressed. I know this, because this story has come from personal experience.

_I own nothing but my sense of loneliness._

_Loneliness Kills._

_. . ._

I felt like a stranger to myself. If that makes sense.

I just feel like I don't really know myself anymore.

I just feel… _different_.

_Ever get that feeling of loneliness?_

You have all these wonderful friends around you, but not one of them really understands you?

I've never exactly experienced loneliness before. It's a very strange feeling.

But it's quite sad, really.

I've always had people around who loved me in one way or another. I've always felt that I've had friends, and that everything in my life was great.

That was, until I suddenly felt like I was incomplete. I don't know what happened, but I just felt like no one truly understood me. I'd even be paranoid enough to go as far as to say people just pretended to be my friends, for a reason I haven't quite figured out yet. As if they know if they didn't do it out of pity, I'd just be another loser.

On the outside, I'm this happy-go-lucky person. I'm the one who smiles for the stupidest things, often making other people smile too… no one has really ever seen me sad. And they all see me as the guy, who's just himself. That guy… who enjoys life without a care in the world.

All of my friends say I'm '_so predictable_', and they know me so well. Maybe even '_more_' than I know myself.

Heh.

Maybe one day, after I'm gone, or after we go our separate ways later on in life, they'll realize…

_They didn't know shit._

.

.

"Natsu! You here?! You coming or what?"

I sighed, as I heard someone bang and shout my name by the front door.

It wasn't hard to tell who it was. Lucy banged on my door every morning before school. It had become her daily routine since the fifth grade, when we first became friends.

But that aside, I closed the journal I was writing in, and got off my bed. I dusted myself off, picked the journal up off my bed, and put it in a safe place near my cupboards.

I stopped for a second, and just looked outside my window.

_It was a beautiful day._

_So, why do I feel so down again..?_

"NATSU!"

I sighed for the second time. "Coming, Luce!" I shouted back in a cheerful tone.

_I don't want to feel this… emptiness._

I grabbed my bag and made my way down the stairs. Lucky for me, mom and dad were gone already. They always left early on a Monday.

_No one needs to know. They wouldn't understand anyway…_

I opened the door with a warm smile, seeing Lucy's annoyed look,(from waiting for me, most likely) turn into a bright smile.

"I'm here." I said.

Lucy laughed. "No shit."

Before anything else, she had grabbed my arm and started pulling me out the door. "C'mon, we're gonna be late!"

Barely managing to close the door as she pulled me, I laughed and nodded.

_Even my best friend, who's supposed to be able to read me like a book, couldn't tell. This was a mask that I put on every day, fooling everyone around me._

I mentally sighed, as she pulled me on.

_Oh well. Here we go again._

_Same shit._

_Different day..._

That's how the life of Natsu Dragneel is. You're average, handsome, loyal, funny, friendly guy on the outside.

And just another depressed and lonely person, covered in a void of darkness, on the inside.

I just want someone to understand me from the inside out. I thought Lucy would be that person…

Was I wrong?

. . .

**A/N:** The next chapter should be up soon.

I hope you guys liked this one so far.

As for my other stories... I'm sure I'll get to them eventually.

Please review?


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